I was listening to a talk this morning by Oprah which made me think twice about the relationships I have with people, and how to be the best I can be for someone. I thought I would share this with you:

If there is one lesson to learn on the planet it is this, the number one thing all people crave is to be seen and to be heard. The gift of paying attention is a fundamental key to transforming relationships. You will be surprised how miraculous relationships become when you just start paying attention.

Listening allows other people to feel truly heard and received. As you give this sort of attention to other people you will learn so much about them and about yourself. When that gift is given back to you, you will understand how beyond powerful it is and your relationships will start to shift.

The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore if you cannot understand him listen to what he does not say. In our fast paced, competitive world, the drive to be heard compels us to speak strategically and often. Our motivation is to be noticed and valued and hopefully accepted. Have you ever been so busy planning what you’re going to say next or to share your point of view that you missed what is being communicated to you? What if the key to transforming relationships is the simple act of listening? Are you willing to slow down, trust and truly receive the words of others. One of the most precious gifts is to really listen to someone. Likewise we can tell when someone is truly listening to our words. They don’t interrupt but wait patiently till we have finished. They ask questions, which lets us know that they are genuinely engaged in what we are saying.

Wrath Waldo Emerson wrote: “Who you are speaks so loud, I can’t hear the words you are saying.” If we listen with our hearts we can feel the emotions that are being said or not being said. The greatest gift is to listen openly without judgments and being entirely present in the moment. We know that every scent in being on earth is interconnected at the deepest level, therefore we are all a mirror for each other. Gifts come in different forms. What we do know about giving is that it is on the same continuum (level) of receiving. When we give someone our full attention the gift will be returned to us by another, we transform relationships when we listen with our ears, hearts and souls. We will light up the universe as we listen to what is being said and respond with gestures of love.

But don’t hold on to those who don’t have the time for you because there is always someone else that will, someone who wants to listen to your story someone that can share their story with you, which will build a relationship up worth having. But also, that’s how you know life is full of lessons, if you just listen.