Something’s been missing for ages and it was this! I started a full time job and all of a sudden I didn’t have time for my blog anymore. That absence of writing made me realise that I love it.
I guess for months I felt like I didn’t have much to write about because I’ve been in a routine, but I do! For the people that know me, I’ve completed my Masters Degree and on my Social Media I’ve slightly overdosed on it!
Honestly this year has been incredible! I remember in 2012 at my UG graduation I was sat in the ceremony and I was just overwhelmed with the whole spectacle. The trumpets and gowns made me feel like I was part of something greater. That was the moment my mum had waited for, having brought me up on her own, the day I graduated was the day she always said she knew she that she had done a good job! Well, it was in that moment that I wanted to do it all over again!
In the summer leading up to the new term of Postgrad, I was struggling to find the funds for my tuition fees, and this is rather personal but I’ll tell you… I asked my ‘Dad’ for some help, after not speaking to him for nearly 10years. He said no to me…told me to find my own way to support my self and I did! While at the time all I could see is red…he actually did me a favor and gave me the drive to prove that I can do it on my own. I can climb any mountain without the crutch that money would have provided.
That summer my mum took me on holiday to Turkey with my sister. We hadn’t been away for years as a family. We enjoyed 3 days of sun, sea and splendor and 4 days of tears, angst and worry: my Sickle Cell had flared up again…bad! I was admitted into hospital in Turkey, where I stayed miles away from my sister who was at the resort. My mum was travelling between the two checking on both of her daughters. I couldn’t afford to stay there for longer then 2 days. On the last day of the holiday I felt like it was my last day. Honestly. I had no medication left, and needed to get on to the plane home, ASAP. Crippled in pain I held back tears to get through to customs and sat on the aircraft with nothing but a hot water bottle and my mum holding me. I was screaming in pain and the captain wanted to land in Germany but I said no. I wanted to go home. It came to the point where I was all out of tears; I couldn’t wait much longer to get treatment and wanted it just to end. A few more obstacles got in the way but we eventually made it to A&E to find that my skin had come off my back, being burnt from the hot water bottle.
Anyway, a month later I set off for Brunel again. I wasn’t scared the only things I was apprehensive about was having to make new friends because my girls had left, and if I ran out of money half way through the year at least I knew I had tried to do my Masters and would just move back home.
However, a week into the course one of my best friends decided to come back to do her MSc and as each week went by I made new friends and seemed to be surviving. Throughout the year there were more ups and downs…it wasn’t like undergrad at all. There was no break from work, no Christmas, Easter or Summer holidays…no freedom like before but constant deadlines. All. The. Time. A break would be watching Scandal between 6-8 whilst having dinner, before going back to the library. Or a Friday night off… Knowing that a productive Saturday was ahead. However, I had all my photos up on my wall that reminded me of all the love that I had surrounding me. And I had my mum on the phone…and that’s all I really needed to get me through it. I met some great people who opened up new pathways for me, and still had my old friends who kept me motivated. I established my self, set up this blog and found a new love and passion for life.
Come Summer time, everyone I knew had moved out of uni, and it became another chore, but a new group of people came into my life and it was great. I was desperate to stay in London after finishing; I fell in love with the city and the people and really wanted to look for a job down south. Those of you who know me, know how desperate I was to stay there, the lights of Piccadilly circus excited me, and the hustle and bustle was electrifying.
However, I ended up getting a job back at my old secondary school, it was like fate. Where most people I’d known were interning and struggling I felt so grateful to have been given this job, in a place I was comfortable and knew, and it took away the stress of applying for other roles, whilst studying. So I moved home to a beautiful new bedroom that my mum had decorated for me by herself. That alone made me feel special, and although I was going back… I had moved ten steps forward. Have a read of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho… if you are ever unsure of your steps in life then you need to read that!
(Don’t worry… I’ve nearly finished… I think it’s because I haven’t written for ages that I am getting carried away)!
So, come September, I had a massive leaving do with all my gems…I remember crying so much that one of my eye lashes came off lol, but it was one of the best nights. The next day I started work in school. I would come home to work on my dissertation go to sleep, wake up, work, come home, work…weekends work. Stuck in that routine for two months till it was all done…submitted my disso and fully focused on School.
3 days ago I graduated with a Distinction in my Masters. I got to take my mum and sister to Westminster Central Hall, and celebrate with class and sophistication along with my friends again. One year on, I’ve done a full circle and I am starting to climb a ladder in the same place I grew up. Albeit, I am now financially able to look after myself, I have the responsibility to help out at home, help my sister through her GCSE’s, and the maturity to go to work and help guide teenagers through their education. I am working within a brilliant department and can start to see how my degrees have provided me with a platform to start shaping the future.
And looking back on it all, by the grace of God, I believe that he had put all the right people in place at the right time for me to guide me through each day. You may not believe in God, and in that case, know that what ever happens, happens for a reason. Going back to graduation made me remember who I am, and everything I aspire to be, to constantly enhance myself and push my self to reach the top…and to take risks, because there will always be a trampoline for you to bounce back! What did I learn through this degree… that home is where the heart is, do what you want really desire to do, build relationships up with people, and be a person that can make a difference! Everyone that I have had a conversation with has influenced my decision and thoughts and sometimes made me see things in new perspectives…so all I can say to end is to open up your world, it’s not a bad thing to want more but remember that you are constantly achieving without even knowing it!