Two Sides To A Coin
So a quick post; I don’t want it to sound all dismal and gloomy because I found light from this experience and I hope you do too!
I was admitted back into hospital unexpectedly (well it always is unexpectedly) and after a rocky couple of months my first thought was ‘not again, not now, can anything else go wrong’. For the past couple of months the road hasn’t been straight and I’m learning the cha cha cha of life.
I had been looking at people around me, friends especially, thinking WOW they make it look so easy. However, when I was in A&E waiting for a dose of morphine I thought about my own life in the past couple of months. There have been times when I’ve been on top of the world, travelled, been in great company but there have also been a lot of times of frustration, anxiety and stress. One thing that probably brought me down more then anything else was the comparison I was making between myself and others. It was a habit from school, if my friends were doing well in class I would use that as motivation and drive and think well I can do it too & it worked!
But now life isn’t the same class for everyone; me, my friends, family and everyone around is competing in their own test. But it’s hard when on Facebook and Instagram you see people ‘loving life’! I’m one of the biggest perpetrators of this! If I’m somewhere cool I’ll check my self in on FB and a quick photo on insta for everyone to share the experience. So while I was waiting I was thinking; based on what I put out there I bet people think I’m living a great life! I am grateful for all the opportunities that I have had, but I’m not living the dream so I don’t want people to think that everything is always perfect – because nothing is always perfect. Thus I posted a photo of a cannula in my arm from the hospital. It wasn’t for pity at all but to share 2 lessons:
1. There are two sides to a coin…never compare yourself to anyone else because you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. No one wants to portray the negative, the ego won’t allow it! That won’t change, people aren’t going to start posting photos of being bored at home for example, and why would they no ones interested in that! But what I wanted to show was that life isn’t always fine sailing there are thunder storms that people pass through too, they just don’t show you, so you’re not on your own! It’s comforting to know that someone is sharing the same feelings or is in a similar situation as you, and it may not be plastered all over social media but it is out there. Always be kind because you never know what people are going through.
2. You never know what is around the corner so live each day in the best way that you can. When I was lying in hospital I was actually supposed to be at a friends engagement party and had been looking forward to it for weeks. I thought back to yesterday and remembered that I had had a pretty good day so not all was lost. If you live each day the best way that you can then you will automatically stop chasing happiness and it will become an intrinsic part of your everyday and apart of you. You don’t have to be on top of the shard, basking in the sun, and it definitely doesn’t have to be 5pm on Friday for you to be happy. It can take something so small to brighten up each day.
So there are my two lessons from being bed bound with bad health. I may have been knocked out and tied to a machine but I definitely grew as a person and realised that I only need to focus on me and having a good day, everyday!