Needle In A Haystack

I’m sat in an office with my friend. He’s an entrepreneur and over the past 12 months he has developed his own app, it’s a new way to play fantasy football “Yes Get In” (available for download)!   So we’re talking about focussing and how he transitioned from a corporate accountant to an entrepreneur following his PASSION.

And so I’m sat here, still deliberating about what path to go down. I’ve been in this pickle for a while, it’s like I’m playing tennis, on my own, in my head! I’m humming and harring about what to focus on. I know for sure that by 30 I want my own company, I also know that I want to move back to London. I know that I need to develop more skills and focus!! But what to focus on; do I get another job in the city, make money and gain experience, or do I run from being somebody’s piece of leverage in an office. Shall I build a business based on a mere thought and idea or do I apply for jobs because of expectation and circumstance? Do I need more experience? argh so many questions! I remember when I came out of uni I was so clear on everything, and then life started happening and plans didn’t go to plan!

I think I’ve thought about this so much that I’ve just frazzled my own head. Why do we have to have everything sorted out? I genuinely feel like the world’s my oyster, but being the indecisive woman I am, I’m feeling lost and confused instead of liberated. I do feel like I’m really being stretched though, like the process of when a caterpillar grows and develops wings, and transitions into a butterfly! I feel like I’m in that gooey transition phase.

As the year comes to the end, I’m determined to finish it on having my shit together! I need to know what I’m going to focus on, what I want. But it’s so hard, I genuinely feel like it’s picking a needle from a haystack because what I build or work on means everything to me. It’s my future, my stability, my ticket to financial success, which in turn will be traded for the options I can have in the future, the options I can provide for my future children.

Patience.

Trust.

I need to be patient with myself and trust that everything will always be alright, (and one day even better then alright)! I guess that’s the answer for now.

I’m going back to the drawing board!

Are you or have you been in a similar place, I would love to hear your story in the comments below.

SS x

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